Flapping Chairman Hao

“The Ruthless Chairman Hao? Look at him- he’s got that god-awful music blaring from his propaganda speakers it draws pus out of our ears! and.. just because he’s got a flap-pack on, doesn’t make him God! We can’t allow him to destroy Mars. Weapons of Mars Destruction or what you call it… It’s an important inter-galactic relay station. If you don’t do anything about him, then we will.
...then again, we could just leave the Martians to take you guys out. After all, it may take time but we have the tech to rebuild the planet. Now stop wasting my time, I have a battle to attend to.”

This coming from the merciless General Crochicavis himself means the situation is of extreme significance for the continued survival of humanity. Make of it what you will but I’m not sticking around to witness the wrath of the Martians...or suffer from Hao's ruling. This is Ngudong Yen, your friendly Earth correspondent for Galaxy News Network, reporting for the last time.