About Lettuce
The story starts with a group of kids that wanted to eat lunch. Unfortunately, no food remained in their vicinity, save for a head, a head of lettuce. They hated lettuce. They took the lettuce and threw it out with the newspapers. Then, they realized it: they hated newspapers too.
Thus, "Lettuce" was born. A newspaper that hates newspapers, confusing itself AND its readers. Dedicated to being a pinnacle in the writing industry by masterfully "integrating" the thesaurus with "ungoodly" translators.
We are a newpaper. We are a satire. We are...unsure of how to end the description.
Read up! The Lettuce releases every two weeks. Probably.
The Lettuce app notifies you when new articles are up, making it convenient to share especially terrible articles with your friends.
Articles can be viewed online at www.thelettuce.org. Want to write for us? You can submit articles online.
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by Q####:
Excellent. Awesome. Astonishing.