Crude Jokes for Android
*Think you’re funnier; then submit your own jokes for inclusion in the app and get the credit too.
*Warning, these jokes contain swearing and topics of an adult nature and as such are intended only for grown ups. Please do not download if you easily offend you will only get upset*
*New jokes added weekly
*Submit your own joke for inclusion in the app.
*Move to SD card (android 2.2+ only.)
*This app will remember were you are up to even if you turn off your phone or update the app
*Share with SMS/Email
*Copy to Clipboard(via menu button), for posting to social networking sites.
*Random joke button
*Hold the left arrow to go back to the start
*Hold the right arrow to go to the end
*Link to developer’s other apps in the market
*Change the size of the text
*Change the color of the text
*Change the style of the text
*Change the background
*Rate the app
Examples of what's inside (jokes are not censored in the app):
"What do you call a female police officer that shaves her pubic hair?
C**t Stubble."
"The Sunday School teacher was speaking to her class one Sunday morning and she asked the question, "When you die and go to Heaven ... which
part of your body goes first?"
Suzie raised her hand and said, "I think it's your hands."
"Why do you think it's your hands, Suzie?"
Suzie replied, "Because when you pray, you hold your hands together in front of you and God just takes your hands first!"
"What a wonderful answer!," the teacher said.
Now, Tommy raised his hand and said, "Teacher, I think it's your legs."
The teacher looked at him with the strangestlook on her face.
"Now, Tommy, why do you think it would be your legs?"
Tommy said, "Well, I walked into Mommy and Daddy's bedroom the other night,
Mommy had her legs straight up in the air and she was moaning, 'O God, I'm
coming!' And if Dad hadn't had her pinned down, we'd a lost her for sure!!!""
"One day a guy with premature ejaculation problems went to a doctor.
The doctor said, "Whenever you feel the urge to ejaculate, startle
yourself."
So he went out and bought a starter pistol.
When he got home, his wife was naked in bed, ready for him. So they
got in the 69 position and started at it. Soon he felt the urge to
cum, so he fired the pistol.
The next day he went to the doctor. The doctor asked him how it went.
He said, "Not too good. My wife bit off three inches of my dick, s**t
in my face, and my neighbor came out of the closet naked with his
hands up.""
N.B. Permissions are required by the Ad networks, which keep the app free.
*****Disclaimer*****
Appsolutely Fabulous, takes no responsibility, for the content of this app. None of the jokes were written by anyone at Appsolutely Fabulous, they were all either sourced form the internet or sent in by the users of this app. We accept no blame for any offense caused, care has been taken to remove offensive jokes, however it you are offended by any of the jokes please report them to us via the app and we will consider the joke for removal.
Boring boring boring how old are these jokes ,can someone set up another sickipedia site please where there were really good jokes
Great joke app read loads of them and still more to go easy to send on too brilliant
I can't get enough
People who give one star are idiots it says in the description that they are crude why even get it if you didnt want offensive jokes?
Crude Jokes
People who give one star are idiots it says in the description that they are crude why even get it if you didnt want offensive jokes?
This app should be called Sick Crude Jokes (im not being complimentary.) I apologize for giving 1 star, yes I realise I'm being way to generous. I've uninstalled this non funny app
People who give one star are idiots it says in the description that they are crude why even get it if you didnt want offensive jokes?
Some very sick jokes!
Force stops after a minute. Galaxy s3
Very funny jokes, but you have to buy all the features
Forces close after a few minutes and if I tried to share on Facebook it's blank. Otherwise hilarious. Fix issues and maybe I'll give 5 stars.
Won't even install!!!!
Would be a great app but when sharing to face book itcomes up blank , main reason I downloaded the app
That Hurt somebody call me a doctor
Ok but could do with some better jokes because some are just stupid
Funny as hell
A good and well presented app, and the dev is very helpful too.
Best joke app out there! Wish there were more!
most of the jokes were very funny And unheard of before
Common jokes
This app should be called Sick Crude Jokes (im not being complimentary.) I apologize for giving 1 star, yes I realise I'm being way to generous. I've uninstalled this non funny app
Maybe you should change the app picture and I will change it to 5 stars
I can't get enough
Most are stupid.
Funny
Very cool app, keep it up! It's obvious that those guys rating it as bad or crude don't have any sense of humor at all.
Like
Lil johnny so ugly when he walks by a.pig the pig turns blind
This app helps keep the party going.
It looked cool
Very cool app, keep it up! It's obvious that those guys rating it as bad or crude don't have any sense of humor at all.
These applications are awesome
Good jokes
Stupid
Good
Complete shy the. Download "jokes to offend anyone" instead this app was obviously made by a 9 yr old
This isn't awkward at all
Most unfunny jokes I've read. Uninstalling it.
by Y####:
These are the WORST jokes i have ever heard