Drink and Drugs Jokes for Android
*Think you’re funnier; then submit your own jokes for inclusion in the app and get the credit too.
*Warning, these jokes contain swearing and topics of an adult nature and as such are intended only for grown ups. Please do not download if you easily offend you will only get upset*
*New jokes added weekly
*Submit your own joke for inclusion in the app.
*Move to SD card (android 2.2+ only.)
*This app will remember were you are up to even if you turn off your phone or update the app
*Share with SMS/Email
*Random joke button
*Hold the left arrow to go back to the start
*Hold the right arrow to go to the end
*Link to developer’s other apps in the market
*Change the size of the text
*Change the color of the text
*Change the style of the text
*Change the background
*Rate the app
Examples of what's inside (jokes are not censored in the app):
"I hate people who take drugs...
Such as Policemen, Customs Officers, etc..."
"THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. Thanks, but I don't want to have sex.
2. Nope, no more booze for me!
3. Sorry, but you're not really my type.
4. Donner kebab? No thanks, I'm not hungry.
5. ..."
"Beer vs. Vagina
1.Beer is always wet. Vagina needs a little work.
One point to BEER
2.Warm beer tastes awful.
One point to VAGINA
3.A really cold beer is satisfying.
One point to BEER
4.If after taking a swig of your favourite beer you find a hair between your teeth, you may vomit.
One point to VAGINA
5. ..."
"My local's rough as anything. I went to the pub quiz the other night.
First question was, "What the f**k are YOU looking at?""
"An 'alcoholic' on the Jeremy Kyle Show just admitted to drinking 'eight or nine cans a day.'
F*****g p***y, I can drink that in four hours."
*****Disclaimer*****
Appsolutely Fabulous, takes no responsibility, for the content of this app. None of the jokes were written by anyone at Appsolutely Fabulous, they were all either sourced form the internet or sent in by the users of this app. We accept no blame for any offence caused, care has been taken to remove offensive jokes, however it you are offended by any of the jokes please report them to us via the app and we will consider the joke for removal.
The jokes were great! Now its just a bunch of fuckin foreign jokes...stupid please update
Weak jokes... keeps foreclosing
Cant even read a whole joke b4 it force closes....moto devour :-(
Non bad only Unistalled because I've been through it a few times. Would sef download updated version when out :)
Won't move to SD card - EVO 4g Android 2.3
Ok. Just a little dated and seemed to be aimed at children. No really good jokes
Really. enjoyed. it
Pretty good
The jokes are detailed and funny if you like drunk humor. Large font, lots of jokes, & a joke submission buttons. Good to share. A+ for a freebie app.
Some of the jokes are pretty funny...Some are pretty lame...Worth it to read through them though...
Really bad. Teribble jokes. APPsolutely terrible
I wish you could save or flag your favorites but besides that always good for a laugh
Funny stuff
LAME!!! Uninstalling
Just stupid!!!
Does not work, says need network connection
No comment.
Stupid
Soooooooo funny
'Y
Koo
Good for some chuckles.
Disappointed! The jokes are average at best, uninstalling!!
I don't have web connection ~ BS, web is on & this is DeLeTeD ! ! !
Says needs update but when I try it just gives option to open instead;(
This app is @#$ing hilarious! Ever since my husband downloaded it, I have been laughing my a@# off!
Coll
Its all brit jokes
Quite ok
Bla
Suxxed yolo
Quite funny
cute
Jokes were ok but the ads massed it unusable
Mostly funny jokes
I dont even know what half of these words mean! Next time try to make stuff from AMERICA!!!!Id suggest dont frikkin get it!
If you love drinking and doing drugs this is the app for you!
Brilliant!
Fun! Need some understanding of England's culture to get some of the slang to get some of the jokes
by O####:
Funny