Funny Joke Advice

"A day without sunshine is like, well, night." The Internet is full of funny sayings and advice, and this app collects a bunch of them all in one place. Have an amusing thought with you for any occasion when you need a laugh. And remember, if you're ever having trouble opening a bottle of Champagne, hit it with a ship. It really works! Note: Contains offensive language and adult sexual themes. - Dozens of witty tidbits - Change the size, color, and style of the text - Submit your own jokes for future versions

*Think you’re funnier; then submit your own jokes for inclusion in the app and get the credit too.

*Warning, these jokes contain swearing and topics of an adult nature and as such are intended only for grown ups. Please do not download if you easily offend you will only get upset*

*New jokes added weekly
*Submit your own joke for inclusion in the app.
*Move to SD card (android 2.2+ only.)
*This app will remember were you are up to even if you turn off your phone or update the app
*Share with SMS/Email
*Copy to Clipboard(via menu button), for posting to social networking sites.
*Add your own stories
*Random joke button
*Hold the left arrow to go back to the start
*Hold the right arrow to go to the end
*Link to developer’s other apps in the market
*Change the size of the text
*Change the color of the text
*Change the style of the text
*Change the background
*Rate the app

Examples of what's inside (jokes are not censored in the app):

"For spotless results, clean your house with Clearasil."

"Take up meditation!
It beats sitting around doing nothing. "

"Smokers. Save on matches and lighters, by simply lighting your next fag from the butt of your last one."

"Hospitals. Increase the revenue from on-site car parking by selling off the cars left by dead patients. "

"I saw a sign today which said 'Stop Look and Listen'.
So I did.
Got hit by a f*****g train."

*****Disclaimer*****
Appsolutely Fabulous, takes no responsibility, for the content of this app. None of the jokes were written by anyone at Appsolutely Fabulous, they were all either sourced form the internet or sent in by the users of this app. We accept no blame for any offense caused, care has been taken to remove offensive jokes, however it you are offended by any of the jokes please report them to us via the app and we will consider the joke for removal.